My Little Dark Secret

by Deepika Mathur



So later on sharing this storey it volition no longer hold upward a secret.


But I am non scared. The people who actually affair to me already know well-nigh this. So it's non similar it's a big undercover or something.

But it's night in addition to made me realize that it's non slow to trust anyone. Forget well-nigh anyone, it's non fifty-fifty slow to trust yourself sometimes.

There was a Maths professor (let's telephone telephone him Mr. X) whom my friends in addition to I used to instruct for studies at his home, something similar tuition.

He is 40-something, married, handsome in addition to smart.

Girls, including me, used to casually utter well-nigh him. Most of the fourth dimension he overheard us but at the await of it, he also enjoyed the attention.

But I was never serious well-nigh it. I merely idea it's all well-nigh “being cool”.

Gradually, he started taking particular involvement inward me.

My friends realized it but I didn’t.

They tried to brand fun of me but I idea it was all nevertheless business office of “being cool”.

One day, I didn’t know that it was an off twenty-four hours for the tuition due to about consequence inward the city.

I reached on fourth dimension for the tuition in addition to was sitting inward the class, alone, waiting for everyone.

After a few minutes Mr. X arrived in addition to saw me waiting alone.

He approached me in addition to started talking well-nigh me.

He told me today was an off twenty-four hours in addition to started talking well-nigh my personal life. At the showtime it was all normal stuff.

But in addition to thus nosotros started talking well-nigh what nosotros utter well-nigh him. I realized he also was solitary at home.

But I wasn’t scared. I variety of trusted him.

Also, again, at that topographic point was this stupid mindset of “being cool”.

The utter started getting personal. He started complimenting me in addition to making me experience special.

Suddenly, ane thing led to about other in addition to he started kissing in addition to touching me.

I felt thus hollow.

I felt that I was beingness pulled into a night hole.

But it felt practiced too.

Feeling practiced was making me experience the guilt to a greater extent than in addition to more.

Tears were rolling downward my eyes. My hear was fighting a nation of war amongst my body.

He did a lot of things to me in addition to all the piece I was merely a lifeless torso there.

I was scared in addition to I merely can't depict the feelings.

Everything encouraged him to a greater extent than in addition to more. He started becoming aggressive in addition to I started losing my clothing in addition to command over myself.

In the oestrus of the moment, he idea I was participating in addition to was thanking me.

He was complimenting each in addition to every business office of my torso amongst his sweetness talk.

I was merely a teenager, but I nevertheless knew that it was wrong.

I tried to deed my paw to force him away but it was equally if a ton of weights were tied to my hands in addition to I wasn’t able to elevator them up.

I tin sack nevertheless recollect the aroma in addition to the wetness of all that which makes me sick to my tum sometimes.

After leaving his house, I felt terrible.

But I also felt actually “cool”.

That was stupid. I kept this thing to myself for a long fourth dimension in addition to nosotros (Mr. X in addition to me) had this variety of run into 4 to a greater extent than times inward half dozen months.

Once, he sent me few pics which nosotros create got taken. I was angry in addition to scared, but he promised he volition non misuse them in addition to no ane volition know.

But I was getting to a greater extent than in addition to to a greater extent than nervous.

My demeanour changed a lot. I started keeping to myself, rarely talked or stayed at abode during daytime.

I started spending my daytime amongst my friends inward the hostel. Sometimes, for hours, I merely kept staring at fan.

One of my hostel friends realized what was happening.

She fifty-fifty caught me inward an awkward status inward her room without clothes.

She started encouraging me to utter well-nigh what was going on.

I cried. I cried a lot in addition to told her well-nigh everything.

First thing she did was to accept me to a hospital. She had a friend whose woman raise was a nurse.

She got me all checked up. She made me experience real comfortable in addition to made me realize that it was non my fault.

But I kept on telling her that it was my fault. Realizing my condition, she in addition to thus told me it was okay to brand mistakes.

"It's non terminate of the world," she said.

She also told me to trust my parents in addition to utter well-nigh it amongst them. I promised her that it won’t come about again.

My parents cared a lot well-nigh me. They handled the province of affairs real calmly. They also made me experience actually comfortable. They explained a lot of things to me.

I, for the final time, went to my professor, Mr. X. I merely said 2 sentences to him that time.

“Sorry, Sir. It won’t come about again.”

By the looks on his face, I felt that he was feeling guilty too. He said lamentable to me in addition to asked me if I needed anything.

I merely shook my caput to nation no. We never saw each other in ane lawsuit again later on that day.

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